While walking to the grocery store one day, Jack Johnson was stopped by a complete stranger who wanted to know the time.
"Do you know the time?" asked the stranger.

"Sure I know The Time. They were a great band in the eighties," said Jack. "But I don't know them personally, if that's what you're asking." Jack kept walking down the street to the store, but the stranger looked angry and followed closely behind.

Jack turned to confront the stranger.

"Leave me alone," Jack said to the stranger. "Why do you keep bothering me?"

"I vant your blood, give me your blood!"

What the fuck? thought Jack. Is this guy a friggin vampire?

"How bout you suck on my balls you paily skinned freak."

"Oh that's not very nice, you see my name is Leonard, I come from a town called Cleveland, and if I don't get any blood I will die..." At this point Leonard the friendly vampire-human started to cry, but only a little bit.

"Well here, take some of this!" Jack pulled down his pants and gave Leonard the greatest helicopter you could imagine. Jack swung it so furiously that it made Leonard's hair flow like he was at the beach on a semi-windy day. The store clerk started to cry from the beauty, it was magical.



"Normally I would have to kick you out of here for doing something like that," said the store clerk. "But, instead, I want to offer you a job working at the store." Jack, who had been unemployed, gladly excepted the offer.

"You guys are all crazy," said Leanord the vampire who stormed out of the store.