Roger Dodger was a guy that didn't take shit from anyone. He lived his life like he thought he should, stiff and pissed. When he walked around town, he would stare everyone down, giving them a mean look and then mutter, "I'm a helluva man". The people would just look away, not wanting to get beat down by this rather large, mean looking guy. He usually wore a flannel shirt, with the sleeves cut-off, he wouldn't have it any other way. Blue jeans would cover his lower half, with military grade black boots surrounding his feet. Either a John Deere or Budweiser hat would cover his head, depending on the mood he was in when he left in the morning. But one day on June the 14th, something rather strange happened that has never happened before. This would go down as the most important day in Roger's life, one that some might say changed his life forever.

He was walking to the local convenience store where he worked the night shift when a group of hoodlums approached him. "Are you Roger Dodger?" one of them asked, "The guy who thinks he's so tough?" Roger knew he was in trouble, and being the tough guy that he is, he turned around and took off running.
The gang of hoodlums followed closely behind him. Roger began crying and was begging them to leave him alone, but the group continued to follow him.

"I didn't do anything," cried Roger.

"we need to teach you a lesson punk," yelled one of the members of the gang.

Just then Roger realized that he was getting farther and farther away from work and if he was late he would be fired. This was turning out to be a bad day for this helluva man.

As Roger was running, he suddenly felt his heart start beating rapidly. "Oh no..can't..go..any..farther..losing..power..". He fumbled around in his right front shirt pocket...and alas! he pulled out a stick of energy. He popped it into his mouth and lit it with his vintage 1974 sterling silver lighter, properly labeled "Badass". He suddenly felt the nicotine rush through his veins, and mumbled to himself, "I just might make it, just might..."
He collapsed to the ground with the cigarette still hanging out of his mouth. With no one around to hear him, he managed to say with his last few words, "I sure am a badass, aren't I?"